Halting all relations with the foreigners

I am instituting an embargo. I'm minoring in Political Science, I do that.

The commodity?

Boys.

Or, I should say, men. Although I've dated 25 year olds, I've dated 19 year olds (although not particuarly recently), so I guess I'm embargoing anyone that identifies as "not a female." Let's not get caught up on semantics here. The important point is that I am instituting a mandatory embargo on datable males for the next several months, if not longer.

It's because I don't deserve them. Don't worry - I'm not one of those "poor me" girls who doesn't think she deserves to have a healthy relationship. In fact, the opposite. I very much believe that I deserve a great, fulfilling relationship. It's just that, in all my casual dating, I seem to have forgone the healthy/great/fulfilling part in favor of the relationship part. And it's not fair to these guys that I have been dating. My tolerance for the opposite sex extends to the end of one date, making-out optional (but usually encouraged, just to be sure) and then? I'm over them.

I really think that commitment is great, and it could be very liberating - if I found the right person. Which I have not. And I am tired of looking. It might be the fact that the men in my life have become more disposable than my conscious would like, or it might be the fact that I have high standards (I am what some people call picky) or the fact that I can't even keep my own shit together, let alone worry about someone else right now.

I'm not sure if I have some commitment issue that has newly taken root in my psyche since my last long-term relationship or if I just have the attention span of a mosquito when it comes to dating lately. I'm not entirely sure what my problem is, so if you have any hypotheses, do share them.

In the meantime, the Embargo will be an ongoing experiment in my ability to say No.

It's like in "Grey's Anatomy" when Meredith decides to be celibate. Instead, she knits. I couldn't knit a sweater if a naked, freezing child came to my doorstep with yarn, nor can I really do anything domestic in place of dating.

But I sure do like to use power tools, so if a table and chairs appears on your doorstep, just know that the Embargo is going well.

I'll keep you posted.