Quack Attack

I think the sight of it might have scarred me for life, and yet I couldn't turn away.

You know when you're watching Discovery Channel and the cheetah is about to take that zebra down and you don't want to see it, but you can't close your eyes? It was like that. And if you don't watch Discovery Channel, trust me - you wouldn't be able to look away either.

LP and Stella and I were at the park last night. Spring makes me antsy and I really needed to expend some energy so we decided to take a walk. Stella had just had her nails done, so she was all "Do we have to go to the park?" and I was all, "You're a dog, so you have to do what we say - we're going to the park." Plus, she weighs four pounds, so we just picked up her manicured self and away we went.

As we were walking around the lake, we saw some ducks come in for a landing near where we were standing. I am always a little taken aback by birds, given my history with them, but they were far enough away that I could just look at them.

They were splashing around, doing their duck thing, having a good time, when all of a sudden these two boy ducks came up to an innocent girl duck, and well...you know. I'm not one much for PDA anyway, but it was the way they did that it was horrible! First one would hop on while the other pecked at her face! Then the other one got on, and I guess he weighed more because the weight of him held her under water! The girl duck couldn't breathe! She was being drowned while forced to have sex! If I am ever reincarnated, I sure hope I don't come back as a duck because NO ME GUSTA!

We watched her struggle, not knowing what we could do for a fellow female in need. I tried to tell those boy ducks that NO MEANS NO! but I don't think they heard me in the heat of the moment. We also threw sticks at them, but to no avail. They were very persistent.

Anyway, it was finally over when some other, more well-intentioned boy ducks came over and shooed away the rapist ducks. The female looked grateful, and also a little frantic. As they swam away together, I would like to think they went to the Victim Assistance Team clinic right away.

And then Stella was all, "This totally depresses me, can we go home now?" And I had to agree with her, so we picked up her manicured self and away we went.